Saggy Pants Garters? Really?

I have a better idea: why just not pull your damn pants up? I remember walking down 8th Avenue in Manhattan one fall day, as high school students were returning to school. I saw a young man standing with his friends in front of Starbucks and noticed something that looked like a thumb sticking out of his boxer shorts. He just stood there like all was sweet, penis peeking out, jeans sagging low. It was the craziest thing I think I’ve seen in 2010. That, and like five minutes of Bristol Palin’s painfully stiff dancing on one of those prime time competition shows.

Sagging pants look so stupid. But if you must, I’d invest in one of these:

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